Today was an arduous day both mentally and physically. Everything seemed so wrong since beginning of day. It was as though i got down on the wrong side of the bed. Ahhhhh!!
A series of unfortunate events unfold after I found out that I forgotten to bring my examination docket. Without the docket, I am not allowed to enter the examination hall. I only realised my careless act at around 8.40am when my economics paper was at 9.30am. My heart stopped beating and I stunted like for a few seconds before regained consciousness. I immediately call the adminstrator and informed her about my current predicament. Thank god I have the adminstrator mobile number. Its always good to get to know those office staffs. So, at around 9.15pm, I managed to get a copy of the docket and rushed my way to the exam hall.
I was panting when I reached the hall. I was so dissapointed when I flipped open the exam paper. The data response section was ok, but the essay part was not direct at all. My jaw droped after reading through the essay choices. It was like getting a smack in the face. My mood was sort of distorted then. Then, next was statistic paper. I just do not know what else more to said about it. Overall, the paper was ok but i was feeling kinda blue when i was sitting for the paper.
I was pretty sombre when I reached home. Lots of thoughts were popping in my minds and I do not why but I just had this bad feeling that things are not going to be alright. I am not sure of my future and where am I going to be in few years time. I felt that i was being let down many times and may be its time for me to surrender and just accept life as it is. The entire evening I was being pessimistic. Maybe i shoudnt even have 'big' dreams. I should 'mengukur baju di badan sendiri'. I should be contented with what I have.
Life is not a bed or roses and I am well aware of that. However its just so hard to put such outlook to practice.
I don know. Everything seems ambiguous to me now. Maybe its just a dilema I am facing with myself or something more than that.
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2 comments:
whoa. the last few paragraphs explain my state of emotions for the past months so well. like i said, the world is so big, you'll definitely find a place somewhere. chin up, you're only 18 (:! whatever you do wrongly now can only make so much a difference in your future.
this kinda thing happens sometimes. one time before english test, i suddenly realized i didnt bring dictionary to college. it was like 10 mins before the paper,and i ran like mad to the library to borrow, only to borrow some not-so-english-dictionary and get scolding by the librarian. so i ran back panting and sat for the paper, felt terrible.
the most important thing is how we deal with it calmly and with a positive attitude! the result came out wasnt tht bad :D
so always be optimistic in circumstances like this!
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