I have been lazy to blog recently. So this will be my very first post for 2010 and sadly it is taking a pessimistic start. Well as 2010 approaches, everyone set their resolutions and have sanguine expectations for their near future. In the contrary, I was uncertain of how would 2010 turned out for me, how would it unfolds itself. Throughout the entire the 2009, I keep telling myself over and over again that I have to give my very best because I do not want a single tinge of regret and remorse feeling to eat me from within. I do not want to look back and ask myself the dreadful question why didnt I do that or what will happen if I did do that. All kind of thoughts will then popping up in my mind picturing the change in my life if I did do that, make that choice.
Haih, life is mystifying cryptic with unsolved riddles and puzzles, making me feel ambivalence. Every choice i made, I am actually solving a maze that is mind churning, exhausting, elevating and etc.
My father has been kind of pushy recently. If I sit in front of the tv for more than one hour, he would give me the stern stare and asked me the 'simple' question: "What are you doing with your life wasting your time in front of the square box?" It just a straight forward question but then I have to pause for seconds to ponder upon it. He does it like almost everyday until I got so fed up and just have the urge to act rebellious, do the opposite of what he want me to!!! Yes, I do slacked at times and I do not deny it but can he stop reminding me of slackness. I am not saying that I dislike what my father is doing as I know he is concern about me but the pressure is really building up.
As A2 creeps up closer and my AS result being released on next monday, I felt even more insecure. I just do not what to expect. Being too optimistic can be a bad thing as i may be hit with a greater disappointment, let down but if I choose to be pessimistic, then I have to spend the entire week being solemn and doleful.
Therefore, the optimum solution is to be modest, take the middle path and save myself from enduring two extreme emotions. :)
Great idea py.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
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1 comments:
first and foremost, i like your english!
2ndly and definitely of equal importance, i know how it feels to always be pushed by parents, but as much as we dislike it, sometimes all those pushing and scoldings are one of our motivation to study isnt it? :)
its okay not to have your expectations too high, but you have to AIM high and SCORE high too! u can do it peiying you're peiying remember!
i believe in you *oh yes you dunno how much i know you can do well, you're peiying* so u must believe in urself too! :D
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