I have been lazy to blog recently. So this will be my very first post for 2010 and sadly it is taking a pessimistic start. Well as 2010 approaches, everyone set their resolutions and have sanguine expectations for their near future. In the contrary, I was uncertain of how would 2010 turned out for me, how would it unfolds itself. Throughout the entire the 2009, I keep telling myself over and over again that I have to give my very best because I do not want a single tinge of regret and remorse feeling to eat me from within. I do not want to look back and ask myself the dreadful question why didnt I do that or what will happen if I did do that. All kind of thoughts will then popping up in my mind picturing the change in my life if I did do that, make that choice.
Haih, life is mystifying cryptic with unsolved riddles and puzzles, making me feel ambivalence. Every choice i made, I am actually solving a maze that is mind churning, exhausting, elevating and etc.
My father has been kind of pushy recently. If I sit in front of the tv for more than one hour, he would give me the stern stare and asked me the 'simple' question: "What are you doing with your life wasting your time in front of the square box?" It just a straight forward question but then I have to pause for seconds to ponder upon it. He does it like almost everyday until I got so fed up and just have the urge to act rebellious, do the opposite of what he want me to!!! Yes, I do slacked at times and I do not deny it but can he stop reminding me of slackness. I am not saying that I dislike what my father is doing as I know he is concern about me but the pressure is really building up.
As A2 creeps up closer and my AS result being released on next monday, I felt even more insecure. I just do not what to expect. Being too optimistic can be a bad thing as i may be hit with a greater disappointment, let down but if I choose to be pessimistic, then I have to spend the entire week being solemn and doleful.
Therefore, the optimum solution is to be modest, take the middle path and save myself from enduring two extreme emotions. :)
Great idea py.
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