Guilty Conscientious

This feeling is so unbearable. Oh my god, I wasted most of this holidays seated in front of the BLACK BOX. I should have been working my ass out by instead I choose to be a couch potato. I always comfort myself saying that my act of watching tv is a way to distress my mind and that is such a big lie to myself in every single way.

I better put a stop to the hideous lie I put up with to explain my shameful act. All of that drama and conflicts within myself have to come to an end at this very moment.

I should spend my one week holidays with no regret!!!

Light House

A big group pics with the lecturers as well.

A-Level Club organized a visit to an orphanage home is Bangsar last Saturday. I was excited about this trip but felt inferior too because this is my first time visiting an orphanage home, interacting with them personally. Lots of thoughts were in my mind the night before the visit as I am trying to figure out how should I react with them to avoid them feeling being sympathize and vulnerable. I just did not want the children or teenagers there to feel unfortunate just because i am way much more fortunate than them. My mission there is to bring cheer and joy to their day.

Cheese!

And I did complete my mission with my head held high. The entire A-levels students and the children were having a whale of time. We introduced ourselves to them and then we all sang very meaningful song "Sing" by the carpenters. I got to carry young kids as young as 1 years old.

The children there are very different in a good way from the usual children I come across. When you stare into their eyes, it reflects their innocent but also their depth of understanding. There is no sound of tears throughout the entire morning. You wont get the annoying high pitch cries and hysteric screams They are so understanding for their age to compromise. They queeued up when we were distributing party packs, the young ones would politely ask for our help to open their party packs instead of them forcing it to open themselves spilling the foods all over the floor. Its just such a different scence there. Even though they were all smiles the entire day, they do have untold stories behind their closet. Once you listen to their overwhelming, thrilling, ups and downs life story, you will come to a realisation that we just pale in comparission mentally.

Here is a real life story:
This little girl is cute, adorable in every way but she has not open her mouth to say a word since her two years stay in the orphanage. Her name is Nancy and she had a harsh early childhood that led her to stay silence ever since. Nobody know why. All she seek is just attention and love from anyone. She love to be hugged and cuddled in arms and thats is the world to her. This is the power of 'HUG'. When she gets familiar with you, she will attach to you and cling on you for the entire day. Thats is her way of marking her teritory as she is proud to announce that you belong to her. You may not understand but since the children don get personal attention as we do in our homes, having someone to carry them, hug them and cuddle them is what they desire badly.

This trip is a wake-up call for me in everyway. I am so ashame of myself complaining not having this and that, and not looking like miss wannabee. Sometimes I tend to be oblivious towards my surrounding in this paper chase life. I just aim for achievements after achievements and lost the very basic sense of human touch which have kept us all intact and close. All those rants are so immature now after a day spent with the orphans. I should be feeling gratitude for being blissful in life.


Appreciate life as there will never be tomorrow.

The children sang us a farewell song before we left.

One Wrong Does Make One Right

I am so sorry for leaving my blog idle for quite a while. Thanks Mun Wai and Siew Ming to be loyal fans of my blog.

The most happening event in my life for the past 1 month is that..................

I got my LICENSE already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can drive finally!!

I was like on clouds nine when i found out i passed. I just wanted to scream my lungs out at the driving circuit. I was grinning from ears to ears ever since then till I reached home. Haha, the tangled web of emotions is just hard to put into words to be exact. I sigh a great relief after I managed to do the three pointer. It seems to me passing a driving test is not as easy as one may thinks.

I failed when i sat for it the first time. I was so excited, all ready for the driving test. My lucky number was 8 and was among the few first to do 'bukit'. It was not a pleasant scene to those before me being failed, being asked to get down of the car and proceed to 'jalan raya'. So basically, the anxiety was begining to build up within me. Neverhteless, Lady Luck was not shining at me that day. I managed to park the tyre inside the yellow box but when my car went backwards more than 50% when I let go the handbrake. Poor body coordination and being too nervous were the culprit for my failed drving test. However, I did managed to pass jalan raya. Yeah for me for at least managed to get one part right. Haha, comforting myself.

I cant wait to lay my hand on the steering wheel when I get my P license next week. I can go for outing more frquently then.

Next upcoming event is I am having my A-Levels trials next week. Therefrore, this week was hectic with lots of extra tutorial classes. I just had replacement classes today from 9am to 4pm. My stress level is basically rising now so wish me good luck.

Thats basically it. A brief and conscise description of happenings for last month. Nothing much happened besides the boring, mundane daily routine.

Good luck to others too who are about to sit for trials and Happy Holiday to those on term break!!!

Take care

Talent Night

Malam Bakat this year was a blast and great. The crowd was there, PA system improved and the perfomance was so much more interesting with lots of variety. Variety is the spices of life. That night was a melting pot and everyone just lay back, relax and jive. I was taken aback when a gropu of guy and girls performed Tango as I thought the school disallowed and forbided touch-touch dances. This was not the only groups, many groups did the same and the outfits this year were stunnig especially the balerinas' tutu. It was shinning and sparkling from afar.

As I watched the ballerinas swaying across the stage with their graceful dance steps, i cant help wondering why didnt I thought of learning ballet before this and be as graceful as them. That is my favourite performance for the night!!

Me, Fioney and Sue Yen

It has been so long since i last met Fion and Sue yen. They are both actually my loyal tutions friends during the school days. We used to attend edusmart tutions together and we never fail to find a topic to chat about. Thanks Fion for dedicating a post to me in her blog. I will always remember your friend Mr M and you. Did I mention that i think Sue Yen looked fabulousa with her new haircut. I could not really recognised her at first. Trust me.

A group picture with Pn Lee Tsock Wah, Pn Leow and Pn Lee Siok Kim

Come to think about it, BUD 4 is awesome in many aspects. We have singer with melodious voice and some giving you goosebumps, cheerleaders emerging as champions with their poms-poms, dedicated teachers, supportive parents and brainiacs to keep BUD 4 traditions and history living.

I am so proud to be part of this marvellous school once.

Still best friends despite being distant apart

Alina is so nice and kind, always allowing me to drop by at her house to shower before most of the outings as Bandar Utama is quite a distance from my house and it is a total waste of time to go back home after college. She and Qing Xian was seriously enjoying themsleves shouting at the tip of their voices for almost all the performance which kinda live up the atmosphere around us. One funny incident is that the row in front of us were shouting 'Guang Yao' but Qing Xian mistakenly thought it was 'One more' and she shouted it out loud. When she found out she was pulling in the wrong direction, she came up with a name Sally to cover up from embarassment. Then Alina said:" Oh Qing Xian you want us to call you Sally from now onwards?" It was even more hilarious if you were there on the spot because the cover up did not work that well after all. We did have a good laugh about it.

Yah, congratulation to Wei Lin for being a JPA sholarship recipents. Good luck studying in AIMST!!

A family reunion

When the Form Five performed, I cant help to have a nostalgia for my secondary school days. Nostalgia paints a smile on the stony face of the past. A mixture of emotions started to pour in. Despite being in college with a hectic schedule, i do miss those days wearing school uniforms and waiting for the recess bell to ring. If had been so long since i go for a recess. College don really have recess, no paked food from home to share with friends. It is only now I come to realisation that I actually miss and rekindle my high school years but the irony is when i was in secondary school, I could not wait to be in college and enjoy the freedom dress code and time. How funny and silly of me??

Last but not least, thank you daddy for driving all the way down from Shah Alam just to pick me up and waited around 20 minutes for me just so that i could let my hair down being in the accompanion of my friends. I did have a whale of time.

Till then, good night

The Chosen One

Yes! Yes! I watched Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince on the second day of its premire. Thanks Jia Min for getting tickets for us. Jia sms me on friday morning which was pretty last minute but i manage to juggle my time so i joined them for the movie. My sister tagged along as she is a major crazy fan of Harry Potter and cant wait for another day to watch the moviie. The movie starts at 5pm. Ya, so i was pretty fatigue when i reached one utama as my class just ended at 4pm and all the rush just wear me out. I even thought of closing my eyes during the advertisement before the movie starts.

NO no i did not get a chance to do so. The movie was about to start when we entered as Alina kept us waiting for her. I was so wrong. I was not sleepy at all, my eyes were bright and fresh and i was all up watching the movie. Personally I love book 7 and book 6 as most of the mystery and secrets are being revealed. The actors emphasized tense moments by being histronic which results the audience being tense and anxious. Love was also blooming and sparkling among the main actors. Love is in the air!!! The movie was both good fighting evil and also letting emotions take it own course. The movie was approximately 3 hours long and it did not feel so long when i was watching the movie.

Alina was very cute when we were watching the movie. She grabbed my hand so tightly and when watching the horror sacry scene. Haha, thank god she did not grab Qing Lin who was sitted on the other side. I cant help wondering what if it did happen. Silly me.

I better not write in details and let the cat out of the bad as many people have not watch the movie. Go watch it if you can allocate time!!! Trust me......

In summary, thumbs up to J.K Rowling for her putting her ample imagination and creativity into words which put readers imaginations to work. I love Harry Potter series!!!

However, i was not feeling well after the movie and had a slight fever. Credits to the hazy weather and i was kinda feeling warm. I took my bath at about 10pm once i reachd home. My head felt kinda heavy and hit the hay as early as 11pm.

It was not a perfect day but at least i got to watch to movie i loved with my friends

Beijing Here I Come

During my first week of semester holidays, my family and I went for holidays at the capital of China, Beijing. I was pretty amazed by Beijing. It still remain its cultural heritage despite undergoing rapid development and modenisation. Anyway, my family departed from Malaysia on the 10th of June (Wednesday) at 5.30 in the morning. I was pretty excited as it will be a long flight journey of 6 hours. We arrived at 3 in the evening. Yah, it was troublesome to get a cab because some drivers were trying to cut our throat as we were not following tours. We did not join tour as my dad does not like to be in rush when visiting places and like to enjoy the serene of those palces at his own pace.

First Day

It was pretty late when we reached our hotel. The rest of the night was spent enjoying Beijing finger-licking good Peking Duck, strolling around and bought stuffs for the journey tomorrow. Nothing interesting happened on the first day.

The restaurant we ate Peking Duck

Second Day

We joined a one day tour. The places in the list are Ming Tomb and Great Wall of China. The Ming Tomb was so grand. There were 12 zodiac animals guarding the pathway leading to the tomb. I think the emperor is fear of intruders and disturbance during his afterlife. Haha, even the mighty is fearful after his death. As usual, there was a shrine hall which can fit hundreds of people where ceremonies to pray to heaven god took place.

In front of the shrine hall of the tomb

I think my dad and the Ming emperor look pretty alike.

They have a tummy and a round face.



The funny part was we have to cross this small gate near the exit and say "Wo Men Hui Lai Le". It is a superstitious belief but i just followed as I would not want to leave my soul behind in the 'another' world. The belief was when we enterthe emperor's kingdom in another world we visited his world and before we leave we are supposely to notify him that we are back to our world. That was exactly what i was told by the tour guide.

A family of 5. How lovely!!

China ppl always stare at us and shock that our family has 3 children. Haha, we gained attention everywhere in China

The Great Wall standing firmly after many years of coarsen under the rain and shine.


Aftera filling lunch, the next agenda is Great Wall of China. I laid my foot and trod on one of the seven wonders of the world. Yah, millions of people must have did the same thing to. The sun was glaring as my siblings and I climbed the flights of stairs. I put on my sunglasses and hat as my cheeks were getting red after exposed under the sun. My brother was the superman who was leading. He was overwhelmed to reach one of the watch house. My sister accompanied me and we climbed slowly but not as slow as a tortoise of course. My mum stayed at the hill base while my dad decided that it was enough and stopped when he was at the first watch house. The three of us achieved better that our parents as we stopped at the second watch house. The watch houses are a distant from each other.

They look cute doing the peace sign. Haha

Two stunning lads(perasan)


Late in the evening, the tour van dropped us at Hutong, an ancient street in Beijing. The scenery there was picturesque with alake in the middle and on both sides were old ancient buildings. We visited the entire place by sitting on a trishaws which was good to me as i do not need to walk that much. Dinner was Mongolian foods where the servings are unique in their own way but one thing for sure i was not used eating them.

Third Day

In front of Tianamen Square

The public transport in Beijing is very eficient. Thunbs up for the government. We have no problem in mobility as the the subway reacheds every part of Beijing. Forgotten to mention that 12 millions of people are living in Beijing. So you can imagine us squeezing in the subway with the locals during peak hours. Yah so we took a subway train to Forbidden City. The train ticket only costs RMB 2. How cheap is that?? I was ecstatic to visit Forbiden City because the royals used to live in it many centuries ago and it is located at the centre of the Earth. As a Chinese, of course I am proud with China long history, cultures and traditions. Being able to enter and witness the structure of the palace put me in a state of euphoria. This is my first time to China and I always watch Forbidden City from afar through documentray shows.

Awesome dad to bring us on this trip

There was the major hall where the emperor meets with the misters and advisors early in the morning. It was spacious and the royal emperor's seat was coated with gold and a flight of stairs leading to his seat. It is exactly like what we see on movies. The place is a few acre vast. I have to experince it to believe it. No wonder some concubines did not even meet the emperor their entire life because the whole palace is like a maze. Their is the West Palace, East Palace and etc. One thing for sure i love the weather in Beijing. Even though it is summer, but it is not as hot and humid as Malaysia weather. I didnt even sweat the whole day walking and you don feel sleepy at all. There are cool breeze to ease our journeys of walking.

A picture taken in the garden

At late in the evening, we took the subway once again and headed all the to the North of Beijing to visit the Birdnest and Water Cube which were made well-known after the Olympic in 2008. It was very windy and beside the stadiums is a 7star hotel The shape of the building looks like a dragon flying in midair. How cool is that? A 7star hotel. I will be one the room guest in the future. Definately.

One world, one dream, one family

Taking picture with the Bird Nest stadium



Nice harmony colour of the Water Cube

My dad and mum with the 7star hotel behind them.

I will continue the other remaining 4 days in the next blog. There are lots of things to write for a one week holiday. Lazy to write in details so i guess my description of the trip is pretty conscisely.

Good night then

Equality

I am so frustrated now. There is a ball of fire in me which i can no longer suppress in me. After so many years of revolution, I still cant believe that there is still inequality among men and women!!! What is wrong with the world? We can accept the fact that the earth is round even though people in the early century thought that the earth is square, we can invent planes to fly us way above the ground but we cannot have equality among men and women. Why is that women are always place at disadvantage. Are we wrongly interpreted as weaklings because we are gentle, graceful and not physically strong as men? Or is it because of the custom that girls should always keep their mouth shut and do as what they are told??

After watching a documentary about the life of women in India. I gave a deep thought about this topic. OH my god!! Girls in India are pitiful and live a miserable life to the extreme. As soon as a child is born families and society begin the process of gendering. The birth of the son is celebrated, the birth of a daughter filled with pain; sons are showered with love, respect, better food and proper health care. Boys are encouraged to be tough and outgoing; girls are encouraged to be homebound and shy. Having a daughter in the family is regarded as disgraceful and demeaning. Many infant baby girls are burned to death even before they are one month old. What idiotic parents will do so??

Tears started welling up my eyes when i heard this widow saying this: " I miss my children and I have not seen them for 20 years. Maybe they thought i was dead already. This is life." In India, If your husband died, then you will be totally isolated by the entire society because they regard widows as unlucky, jinx and bring bad luck to anyone who were to approach them. Therefore, all the widows in india will stay together in a centre after being chase out of their homes. They are not finacially independent and thus need to beg on the streets just to earn a living. Some were so desperate to survive that they sell themselves as prostitute just to live from hand to mouth. What hurts more is that there were girls as young as 20 years old being a widow and lost the freedom to lead a normal life. Young girls in India do marry to man as old 60 years old which can be their grandfathers. If they are unlucky and their old husbands passed away, then their fate is sealed. How preposterous and absurd is this?

I do not know whether to admire them or think that they are plain naive because they just accept life and fate as it is without trying fight back. A lady was interviewed to tell more her state of life. And guess what she said.... I am vulnerable and all i can do is to pray to god and accept my life. Thank god I am not born in India where customs and traditions are so strongly rooted in the society. Glad that i was given a fair chance to receive education, voice my opinion, get to day 'I do' to the person I love and not being explioted.

I just pray that those women suffering in silience will get their voices heard soon by the world because no one have the right to treat others at such a cruel and senseless way. In India, borned as a girl means that you will have no say in the society and men can just push you around. That is literally putting an end to a girl's life.

Equality.............How true is it in India??